Darlingside has just completed a string of six gigs in nine days. If you’re interested in knowing what happens at these gigs, please scroll down to a previous post. If you would rather hear about what happens somewhere else, though I would normally condemn your attitude as being against the spirit of this website, keep reading.
It is late afternoon, and the front door of the Darlingside abode closes with an ominous thud. A desolate silence descends. Shadows gather and arachnids crawl out from their hiding places.
Yes, tonight is gig night once again, and the house and I are left to enjoy each other’s meager company. Every few minutes a trivial sound rends the stillness asunder*. The whir of the heating system, the creak of a beam — unfamiliar, threatening sounds. Under standard conditions, they have no hope of competing with the baseline level of aural stimulation.
Already demoralized, I eat a solitary dinner and resolve to pass the time calmly until the dish fairy’s nightly arrival. These supernatural visits are fortunate as well as miraculous, because during a rigorous gig week, the five talented musician-dishwashers have too much on their plate to wash it too. No matter! With the help of our magical friend, a day’s worth of kitchen debris vanishes, practically in the twinkling of an eye.
But now the atmosphere is lifeless as a tomb. I brush my teeth and take a shower. Purposelessly, I venture from my room, bristling as Auyon doesn’t make fun of the shirt I’m wearing. I head toward the living room and trip over the absence of Harris’s guitar. Our eggplant-colored couch is a miserable sight to behold, seemingly bereft of its very soul. Sympathy compels me to assure it that Dave and his computer will be back soon.
Sigh. Neither Don’s incomprehensible jokes nor Sam’s sardonic comments relieve the oppressive silence. I sit down gingerly on the other sofa, feeling strangely exposed amidst the vastness of unbroken surface area. With growing unease, I notice a disturbing room-wide deficit in the number of Pyrex cup-measures occupied by soggy tea bags. I suppress my inquietude and begin to read.
The sepulchral night stretches on. When I finally seek the refuge of sleep, the house endures alone, articulating its suffering with violent creaks and groans.
In time, the triumphant band will make its late-night entrance — perhaps in a fanfare of celebratory trumpets, perhaps merely approximating the volume thereof. Invertebrates will retreat into corners and artificial illumination will fill the rooms. The house will breathe a heartfelt but inaudible sigh of relief.
*“literally”
Gig Concentrate
1/29: The Teapot Gallery, Westfield MA
Pro: The venue was a candy shop. Jars of individually wrapped, brightly-colored bits of high-fructose corn syrup lined the walls. It was a free-for-all.
Con: The candy shop had closed down a few weeks prior, and we were the last event before the owner leased the place out. Due to various additional publicity obstacles, including us not knowing anyone in Westfield and computer viruses that send pornography out to all of your facebook friends, the band outnumbered the crowd.
Outcome: We drowned our sorrows in chocolate-flavored licorice and Heineken. Two thumbs up, but now Sam’s diabetic.
1/30: Wilbraham & Monson Academy, Wilbraham MA
Pro: Our first gig at a private school was advertised as an “Enrichment Credit Opportunity.” The kids came out in droves.
Con: In order to fit us into a distraction-free space, the school snack bar shut down until the following morning. Disappointment ensued.
Outcome: The school provided us with large plates of brownies and cookies, which we graciously shared with the kids. Dave accidentally said the word “bitch” during Devil Went Down to Georgia, making good on the enrichment promise of the poster. We left the school knowing we had made a difference.
2/5: The Paramount Theater, Rutland VT
Pro: We were treated like rockstars. Free hotel rooms for two nights, a radio spot, and a gig with our favorite singer/songstress Caitlin Canty in a gorgeous, 800-person historic theater. The crowd was spectacular and the show solidified Vermont as a favorite gig destination.
Con: We had to leave.
Outcome: Wannagoback.
2/6: The Basement, Northampton MA
Pro: Our first show with the Iron Horse Group with our good friend Jay Bethea was a huge success. The crowd was filled with familiar faces and people were excited about the new sound. Pretty girls and cheap beer abounded.
Con: Jay bullied us into going out afterwards, saying that we needed to celebrate and that we could “go home and drink chamomile and talk about our feelings” some other time.
Outcome: We don’t remember what happened last night, but it was good.